AD-nauseum

OK. So I'm starting off with a trivial subject, but hey the Super Bowl is big, and media is definitely a large part of it.
So did anyone else find the the advertisements lacking this year? Not only was there not a single one that stood out, but hype behind them was bigger than it has ever been. But alas, as American Idol shows each week, even poor performances should be given an honest review. So here it is, AD-nauseum.

ZOO KEEPER
First of all, who opened the Zoo for this years ads? There was not just one talking animal ad, but five. It was a microcosim of the movie offerings for children over the last year. The best one of the lot was Blockbuster Total Access with Rabbit and gerbal trying to get the mouse to work. It's an old joke, but it made me chuckle.
Blockbuster-Plug-in the mouse B+
Bud Lt-Gorillas C
Taco Bell-Lion Dinner Time D
California Cows-Relaxed Cows C
Comcast-Turtles of Speed D

DUMB AND DUMBER
Enough said. (F all the way through)
Sierra Mist-Karate, Fed-Ex- Space Office, Snickers-Men Kissing, GoDaddy-Marketing, Garmin-Paper Godzilla, Chevy-Male Carwash, Emerald Nuts-Robert Goulet, Nationwide-Rap n' Fries (w/ Kevin Federline), Bud Lt-Ax Murderer

FUNNY HAHA
These got a little chuckle out of me. Only a few made the grade though, as many of them were filled with blatent sexual innuendo and implied obscenity.
Sierra Mist-Beard Comb Over C
Doritos-Checkout Girl C-
T-Mobile-Dwayne Wayde/Charles Barkley A-
Sprint Mobile-Connectile Dysfunction C+
FedEx Ground-Judge By Name B+
E*Trade-One Finger B

A STORY TO THINK ABOUT
These two left me thinking. They were creative, but not ladened with SPFX, and told their story well.
Beat Your Risk.com-Your Heart B
Doritos/Tostitos/Lays-Who's Listening B

TOOK ME BY SURPRISE
Was caught off guard by both of these
David Letterman/Oprah Winfrey B+
E*Trade-Bank Manager Robbery B

THIS JUST IN FROM THE NEWS DEPARTMENT
I don't know about you, but did anyone else find it hipocritical of CBS and Katie Couric to sit there and tell us that we never hear about the good news in this country, when they are the ones that force feed us the negative news all the time. (there's a topic for a future rant.)
CBS Evening News w/ Katie Couric D-

THIS DUDS FOR YOU!
OK, Budweiser spends a fortune on their ad time, but in general their ads are simple old fashion story telling. There were two that were pretty good, but overall it was down year for the suds. Now if only the agency creativity behind Budwesier could be used for a better product (no alcohol required)
Bud-Rock, Paper, Scissors C-
Bud Lt-Wedding B+
Bud Lt- English a Second Language B
Bud-Lonely Dog B+
Bud Lt-Fist Bump/Slap C+
Bud Lt-Gorillas C
Bud Lt-Ax Murderer F
Bud-Crab Worship A (I'll explain later)
Bud-Holigraphic Footbal C

IT'S A JUNGLE OUT THERE
Overall I thought the best series of ads was for CareerBuilder.com (OK it was the only connected series). The implied humor of the spots was quite enjoyable to see unfold.
CareerBuilder.com-Training Seminar B
CareerBuildre.com-Promotion B+
CareerBuilder.com-Performance Evaluation B+

THE WORST OF THE WORST
The NFL should take to task the violence content (sexual too) of all ads that will be shown during the broadcast. The Super Bowl is billed as a family event, but the number of times I had to hide my daughters eyes because of a horrifying preview or ad was unbelivable. It makes for a very uncomfortable evening.
Any CSI Promo F
Criminal Minds Promo D-
Jericho Promo D-
Ghost Rider F-
Lechter Rising F

PRAISE & WORSHIP?
OK, so I have a dilema. On one hand, I don't care for the Budweiser ads because of what they are promoting. On the other hand this one made a statement that I don't even think was intended. I'm talking about "Crab Worship", where a couple of sneaky crabs heist a cooler of beer and pull it around the rocks to the waiting throngs of crustrations, who begin to bow and praise the bottles of beer.

Now rewind to the last few days, where churches across the country are being served papers and lawsuit threats because they are having Super Bowl parties, preventing them from having wholesome family oriented gatherings. Meanwhile, at the bar down the street the alcohol is running and hundreds pack it in to watch the game on the big screens (many of them larger than 55 inches by the way.) Why can they do this, because the NFL has given bars an exemption from their rules.

So what the NFL is saying is, you can't worship God while watching our game, but you can worship alcohol. Good one NFL. Those crabs are steaming! (with a little butter on the side please.)